A poem by Craig Miller

Maybe someday I’ll walk from this basement
Silver and lead in my hand
I’ll open the front door to face it
The world that beat up my head

And maybe that will be it.

Or maybe I’ll just stand in the sunset
And hesitate for a bit
Reversing the scenes and all of my dreams
And I’ll miss, and I’ll miss, and I’ll miss

Then maybe that will be it.

Or maybe I’ll wait for the moon to come
and cast shadows like distant friends
and I’ll say my goodbyes
To the sounds of this night

Then maybe that will be it.

Or maybe the sun will rise quickly
Surprised to see me alive
“Your hesitation is sacred,” It speaks. “I give you this day and this light.”
Then maybe I’ll turn back inside
and wipe the tears from my eyes
Then loosen my grip, on silver and lead
and finally change my mind

Then maybe that will be it.

 

After self-publishing his memoir, This is How it Feels, in July of 2012, Craig joined The Massachusetts Coalition for Suicide Prevention and began speaking out about his suicide attempt and his battles with mental health issues. Since then, he has shared his story with hundreds of people, speaking at bookstores, charity events, and public events as well as at The Massachusetts Suicide Prevention Conference. He has also written blogs for The American Association of Suicidology’s Attempt Survivor Blog. And Craig was also featured in The S Word.