Surviving Suicide

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Ceiling in the Floor

When I was asked to speak at Brandon Toh’s memorial service, I had no idea of the journey it would take me on. The speech that I wrote ended up inspiring a full-length production called "Ceiling in the Floor, ” a theater/music/dance piece that tells the story of our friendship and features his incredible music. [...]

By | 2017-05-01T14:34:09+00:00 May 2nd, 2017|Loss Survivor, Stories, Surviving Suicide|1 Comment

Did Somebody Lose Their Marbles?

After shooting the film “The Crucible,” during which I had a manic episode, I returned to Los Angeles and had to find a new agent. I told him at my interview I had bipolar disorder. He said, “Oh, honey, I’ve had actors wander off sets for weeks on a binge. You are the least of [...]

Finding Life After Death: The Day I Died Didn’t Take Away My Pain

Writing this is hard because even though I’ve spoken about my personal struggles in public and on video those are distant memories. Almost 18 years since my last attempt and 17 years since my last mental health break and hospitalization. I wonder will I lose business opportunities because this attempt is so fresh? How will [...]

By | 2017-02-10T09:31:46+00:00 January 26th, 2017|Stories, Suicide Prevention, Surviving Suicide|0 Comments

I Don’t Deserve to Be Called a Survivor

I don’t deserve to be called a survivor. I’m just some guy. I never thought my story was worth telling. I never even thought I’d be alive right now. In October 2009, I had just returned home from serving in the army due to being discharged after a mental breakdown. The whole reason I had [...]

By | 2017-02-10T09:31:52+00:00 January 17th, 2017|Stories, Suicide Prevention, Surviving Suicide|4 Comments

Editor and Camera Operator

Suicide. A real curveball. It was a topic I hadn’t thought too hard about until I was asked to shoot video for a suicide documentary — one that has since been titled “The S Word.” I remember my initial coffee meeting with Lisa Klein, the director of the film. She asked me if I would [...]

By | 2017-02-10T09:32:02+00:00 January 3rd, 2017|Stories, Suicide Prevention, Surviving Suicide|18 Comments

The “S-Word” Can Also Be the “T-Word”

I have had the privilege of knowing and working alongside many people who have survived the loss of a loved one to suicide, and others who have survived their own period of suicidal crisis. I have learned so much from these inspirational individuals. Perhaps the most important thing I have learned is that, “the ‘S’ [...]

By | 2017-02-10T09:32:09+00:00 December 20th, 2016|Stories, Suicide Prevention, Surviving Suicide|1 Comment

After Robin Williams

“Excerpts from Rabbi Stacy’s Yom Kippur sermon at Congregation Rodef Sholom in Northern California. Rabbi Stacy delivered this a couple of months after the death of Robin Williams, but the message is still relevant today. This is a piece that pushes through any religious leanings, and strikes the core feelings that surround preconceived notions of mental illness [...]

By | 2017-02-10T09:32:43+00:00 December 14th, 2016|Stories, Suicide Prevention, Surviving Suicide|0 Comments

You — Yes, You — Can Save a Life

A few summers ago I was struggling financially, and as a result, I developed a severe ulcer. Then I found out I had cancer on my nose and would need reconstructive surgery. But the worst was yet to come: the man I loved left me—without a word, without any warning. This combination of events was [...]

By | 2017-02-10T09:32:49+00:00 December 6th, 2016|Bipolar, Stories, Suicide Prevention, Surviving Suicide|0 Comments

Closure Blooms

I tried to kill myself at Yale University when I was a student there 51 years ago. Returning to the 50th Reunion of the class of 1966, the class I didn’t graduate with, I sought closure to what has always been a painful experience.  A friend from those undergraduate years invited me to come. I [...]

By | 2017-02-10T09:32:54+00:00 November 28th, 2016|Bipolar, Stories, Suicide Prevention, Surviving Suicide|0 Comments